If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
