it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
