I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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