Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
