I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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