: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
