If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
