Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
