you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
