ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize