guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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