I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
