can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
