why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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