It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
