The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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