Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
