dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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