This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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