Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
