I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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