I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
