Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
