so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
