so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
