it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
