There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
