Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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