I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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