i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize