Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
