I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
