It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
