i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
