Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm really busy with my period
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