maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
