We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
