K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
