He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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