So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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