Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize