Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
