WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's Friday. Sex?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How naked do you want me to be?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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