Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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