when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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