If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
