FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
