Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
