He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
