no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
