Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
