Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
