What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
