Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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