don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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