I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
