I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
