Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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