Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
