can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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