just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
