I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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