Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
