I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
