my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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