man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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