Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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