no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
