I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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