sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
