we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
