I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
