worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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