I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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