I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
