We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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