We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
