They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
