There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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