I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
