dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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