i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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